Givin' the SMACKdown on my SNACKdown!

Thesaurus.com Entry for the word: Diet

Main Entry: diet
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: abstain from food
Synonyms: count calories, eat sparingly, fall off, fast, go without, lose weight, reduce, skinny down, slim, slim down, starve, tighten belt, watch weight
Antonyms: gorge, indulge

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My life ROCKS!!

So, my doctor decided earlier this week that I needed to have a visit with the dietitian since I have to have over 100 grams of protein each day just to replace the protein that is being SUCKED out of me from the wound vac. Not only that, but I need even more to assist my body in producing healthy cells and tissues.

It has proven itself much more difficult than I thought since, as many of you know, I am a CARB lover...true and true...me loves me some carbs! So, it is a pain in the ass to try and eat all this protein.

I have tried protein powder in milkshakes...YUCK. I have tried protein bars...DOUBLE YUCK.

So, after my bitching about how hard this was for me (come on people, I have to bitch about some things) they decided a visit from the dietitian was warranted. So she came; she conquered; and she basically told me everything I already knew.

Except ONE thing....

She told me that it is REALLY important to NOT be "dieting" or trying to lose weight while I am trying to get my wound to heal.

Doth mine ears deceive me?? Did you just say DON'T DIET??

Yippee!! Oh holy hell, there is a God.

Not only THAT, but I get to NOT diet over the holidays!! I am so excited!

Now I know what some of you may be thinking...that this does not give me license to eat everything and anything I want, BUT it does mean that I don't have to be watching my girlish figure over the holidays like I do EVERY year. I won't have to feel guilty when I eat a small piece of pie, or a small handful of chocolates. Nope. I am NOT supposed to deprive my body because apparently it sends the wrong messages (maybe THAT'S what I have been doing wrong all these years).

I have been on a diet or trying to lose weight since I was three years old...after thirty years, one would think I was a pro and should be a size 2. BUT if you looked at me...you would think that I was not at all good at dieting and if it were my day job, I would have been fired years ago. When the dietitian told me that I needed to maintain my current weight and not lose any for the next few months, I actually had her repeat it. My brain couldn't comprehend such lunacy. Actually, I contemplated kissing her, but didn't want to freak her out!

So, no more counting calories. No more eating sparingly or going without. No more starving myself and tightening my belt (not that I wear a belt because my layer of fat over my waist and my fat ass do a great job of keeping my pants securely in place). Nope. I am free of it. Well, at least until my wound heals that is.

Isn't this great??

I am sure you are a little jealous, but hey, if you break your hip and have surgery, go in and out of the hospital and get a bad infection and basically have the rest of your year tied down to doctors, nurses, bandage changes, wound vacs, etc, the you too can NOT diet with me!

Any takers?? :)

Wishing you all good health and humor...and good eats for me!!

The Climb

Hey ya'll. So it has been a short while since I have posted. I am trying to get the gumption to sit and blog, but honestly, I have not been so inclined as of recently to even check my email, let alone blog.

BUT...I decided to remedy that now.

Let's see, what has happened since my last post. Pretty much the same. I am still home from the hospital and still have a wound vac on my hip. I am still limping and having to use crutches to walk. I am still pretty much home bound and don't really do much of anything but crochet more afghans. Nurses are still coming in the home to change my bandages...so NOT much has changed since the last time I posted.

I guess the main reason I am posting tonight is that there is something my nurse said to me the other day when I was visiting the Wound Care Clinic at Deaconess Hospital. She was changing my bandages and I was in a lot of pain. The lidocain was not really working all that great. I, of course, began to cry. Not that I wanted to or that I was upset, but because it was an uncontrollable reaction to the pain. I composed myself as best I could and tried to talk about something else, so that I wouldn't think about the task at hand. My nurse said something to me that made me think. (Shut up...I do THINK sometimes)

She told me that I was an inspiration and that I was amazing of how well I was handling this whole situation with the hip fracture and pinning and then subsequent infection and wound vac. She said a lesser person wouldn't be able to do it.

That made me think. Am I an inspiration to others? Am I handling this as well as I am presenting to others?

I get posts from my friends on facebook all the time telling me that I am strong and amazing for what I have endured over the last few months. I guess it is just something I don't really think about because it is not that I have a choice. I didn't get to choose this and therefore there is no reason to be negative or dwell on the bad parts. I try to just be positive and try and remember that this will make me a stronger person in the long run. At least I hope so.

But all of this does get me down sometimes. I do cry when I am alone in my room. I do get angry and feel like punching something or someone so that they hurt as bad as I do. But then I remind myself about a song I heard.

Now don't laugh...I hate Miley Cyrus so the fact that she sings this song actually bugs me to no end, BUT she didn't write it, so I love it.

It is "The Climb."

The lyrics are great. It basically is about having goals in life and how it doesn't matter IF you reach those goals but HOW you reach them.

Now, I know that this is not a goal...to be sick with RA and having to deal with the broken hip shit etc, BUT in another context the song speaks to me about having obstacles in your life and its not about overcoming them (because many times that is inevitable) but it is about HOW you decide to overcome those obstacles. It's a great message. SO, I have decided to post the lyrics and put a link to a youtube version of the song. The young girl who sings it is MUCH better than Miley Cyrus. I encourage you to listen to the song and read the lyrics. The message is clear.

Wishing you all good health and humor...and a wonderful journey in life!




The Climb lyrics
Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J;

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa


© HOPELESS ROSE MUSIC; VISTAVILLE MUSIC;

Nightmare on "Valley" Street!

What a FREAKIN' Nightmare!!

I was reading my last post, which was posted on Monday September 13th. So much has happened since that day...where to begin?

Well, I guess I will begin with my checkup that I had the following day with my Orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Death...or maybe I should call him Dr. Infection. Needless to say, since at the time my incision from my initial hip surgery had STILL not healed completely at this point, he decided the ONLY way to determine why it was not closing and healing was to go in the operating room and reopen the wound and see what he can see...like the bear who went over the mountain obviously!

And what did he see??

The other side of the mount...oh, sorry.

No, he saw a massive infection which had apparently been brewing for some time. As he put it, "it was just the tip of the iceberg." Gee thanks Doc. Like I didn't know there was something wrong after seven weeks of oozing and weeping from my incision. Doesn't take a rocket scientist...but apparently it takes a stupid Orthopedic surgeon to FINALLY get on board.

SO...after my surgery on that Wednesday, September 15, I was admitted to the hospital. I was back on the Ortho Floor...the 9th floor...and was reunited with all the wonderful nurses and aides that I had from my previous stay at the hospital from the initial pinning surgery. They were so great. I was blessed with great nursing staff...again. So there is one silver lining. (Yes, I am still trying to find the silver linings in this cluster-fuck of a situation).

I had three more surgeries while in the hospital. I was FINALLY released after nine days. I have to admit that although the staff at the hospital is excellent and the food is not that bad either for cafeteria food, but staying in the hospital is NOT so much fun...for that amount of time.

So, the prognosis was to have my wound heal with a wound vac machine, which is essentially a vacuum that is attached to my hip (pardon the pun) and continually sucks out all the fluid from my wound to prevent further infection and promote faster healing.

I don't get it. I mean, its the weirdest damn process and it just seems wrong, but who am I to question the genius of the medical community?

So, I have been home now for a while now and am having the visiting home nurses come to my house every other day to rip open the bandages and pull out the sponge that they had previously stuffed into my gaping hole like last years Thanksgiving turkey. Let me just give you an idea of what exactly we are talking about here. I have a hole...and yes I say hole because there is no pussy footing around the fact: it is what it is. So this hole is basically about five inches long, three inches across, and depending on what end we are talking about, about five inches deep...some spots are perhaps a bit deeper.

It's big. It's a hole. And it is on my leg.

In the very beginning the doctor could put his whole fist inside the cavity. Gross thought, but alas, tis too true! Pretty gnarly, eh?

So now I wait. I wait until this stupid thing decides to heal itself. I wait to see if I can eventually have a life again. They say I may have to have this on for a little while...the wound vac. I am hoping that SOON I get to get rid of it and be free again. Then I can go to the mountain and scream, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank GOD almighty; I am free at last!!" That's not too dramatic, right?

I leave you now with hopes and prayers that no one I know will ever have to undergo what I have in the last few weeks/months. It is not that I am blubbering "poor me" but I am proud of myself for how I have been handling the situation. It is not easy, but hey, it is my life!

Wishing you all good health and humor! :)