It is funny. I am not sure why, but for some reason, I am under the impression that I can hide how I feel from people. As if I am not an open book when it comes to my physical and emotional pain. Obviously, since I am writing about this, that is NOT the case, but I think it is still humorous that I try and hide how I am really feeling.
Why do we do that?
Why is it bad to respond to questions like: how are you feeling? or how are you?
What is wrong with me that I think the people that care about me can't handle the truth?
Perhaps it is not that I don't think they can handle it, but maybe it is because sometimes I want to spare them "feeling bad" for me if I were honest. Also, sometimes I think they are just asking, not for the truth, but just to show concern and that they care about me.
My father asks me every morning how I am feeling. Some days I lie and say fine. Others I say okay. (Mornings are not that great for me all around) But he knows I am lying and he can tell every time. It is kind of infuriating. I wish sometimes that I could hide how I feel around him but I guess after being my dad for the last 33 years, he has learned to read me.
So I guess my poker face is not so great. Guess my dreams of becoming a high stakes poker player are out!! It is good that he can read me that well and that he still asks me, everyday, even when he knows I am lying to him...he still asks me. He is an awesome guy and a great dad. I am so thankful for him and my mother, I cannot even begin to express it. I am fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life.
Anyways, just some thoughts...
Wishing you all good humor and good health!
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