INCONCEIVABLE...my weekly rant....sorry

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."



I love "The Princess Bride"...such a GREAT movie. This is one of my favorite quotes from the film. One of the characters, continuously uses the word "inconceivable" and many times incorrectly.

What is it with words? I mean, why is it so obtrusive when people misuse a word or misunderstand the meaning that we feel it important to correct that person, OR we immediately assume that person is not, um, very edumacated!

I am guilty of this as well, BUT to my defense, it isn't that I am trying to correct the person by implying, "Oh, little grass-hoppa, let me educate you, as I am smart and you...well not so much!" My attitude is more like, "Um, so is that how you say that? I have always said it this way..." or "I didn't realize that is what that word meant; I thought it meant this..."

I feel like it is a little, um, nicer to do it that way then directly calling someone out and telling them that they are WRONG!!

One of my very close friends and I have had a difference of opinion about this. Her argument is not that you are belittling the person or even talking down to them, but wouldn't you rather know the truth and correct usage rather then continuing being wrong?? I get her argument, but I think it comes down to the WAY in which you correct people.

No One likes to be told they're wrong.
('specially me!! Cuz I rarely am!! :))

I knows that I am not the most smartest kid on the block, but I does know a thing or two about some stuffs!!

In the gossip rags, there has been much debate recently after a public flub-up by a housewife on Bravo's "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."

(I watch for pure depraved and personal pleasure. Shut up. It's my thing. Get over it.)



Recently on the finale, Camille Grammer (Yes, it is Fraser's soon to be ex wife), used the word "pernicious" and "Machiavellian" to describe another one of the housewives. It is really funny how she used it. It was almost like a little kid who heard a word and used it thinking that they understood the meaning and thinking that they were pretty hot shit for using such a big word!!

It came up in the reunion show and they made a big deal about it...and I have to admit, I was right there with my friend and wanting to correct her and not do it in a "not very nice" way.

So, I guess there is a double standard. I mean, why did I react to her in this way??

Why did her misuse of the words BUG me to no end??

Why did I want to slap the shit out of her??

The more I think about it, the more I realize it is her that I have a problem with....not her incompetence or severe lack of intelligence. She is one of those rich women, who doesn't work, has FOUR nannies for her TWO children, and thinks she works 30% harder than any other person in the world. Her words, not mine.

Puke. Gag. Retch. Heave.

Really? Lady, you have more money than 99% of the world (her estimated divorce settlement from Kelsey Grammer is going to be somewhere in the ballpark of $50 million), you live in a house that is over 14,000 square feet, you have NO job, you have a personal assistant, a house manager, a house keeper, four nannies, a personal chef, personal trainer, a personal ass wiper, etc, etc, etc. ( I could go on, but I am fighting back the bile as I type)

This woman is CLUELESS!!! Not only is she stupid, but she is delusional as well. But I guess when you have THAT much money that you got from NO prenuptial agreement, then hey...I guess she can't be THAT stupid, right?

Inconceivable.

Wishing you all good health and humor!

Come Hell or High Water...

Last night at 2 am, as I sat on the edge of my bed crying because I had gotten out of bed to pee and found myself unable to get myself BACK into bed because I couldn't lift my leg, I began to realize something.

This is NEVER going to end.

This is NEVER going to stop hurting.

This is NEVER going to get any better.

Once I finished my pity party and crying fit, I wiped the snot that was running down my nose and tried to catch my breath. I began thinking that:

Wait just a damned minute here...that is NOT going to be my reality.

THIS IS GOING TO END.
THIS IS GOING TO STOP HURTING.
THIS IS GOING TO GET BETTER...COME HELL OR HIGH WATER!!!

That was something my Grandmother used to say. I am not really sure what literal meaning is exactly, "come hell or high water" but I understand it's metaphorical meaning.

That was just like my Grandma, she always had great little sayings that I find myself, and especially my mother and father using on a daily basis.

Some of the better ones are when Grandma would watch television and people would kiss on TV, she used to roll her eyes in utter disgust and mumble, "There they go; eatin' each other up!" If my Grandmother only knew that the term today would have a MUCH different connotation, then perhaps she wouldn't have used it for merely kissing. But then again, I wouldn't want to be the one to explain what that meaning is. God. Could you imagine!! Just sayin'!

Another famous "Grandma-ism" is what she would say when she was thoroughly aggravated with someone. She would, again, mumble under her breath as if no one could hear her, "Them DIRTY sons of bitches!" (With a real slow and drawn out emphasis on "dirty") This by far is one of my favorites and now that I live with my parents and am around my mother much more, she uses this quite frequently, to my total amusement. Funny thing is, I think she is serious even though my Dad and I tease her about it to no end.

It is amazing to me how similar my Mom is to my Grandma. I mean, I am sure she wouldn't want to hear this, but every now and again, I will look over at her walking out in the back yard with her heavy flannel shirt used as a make-shift coat, traipsing through the yard, looking over her glasses and cussing out the dogs for some minor infraction they have committed. I giggle every time.

She is the walking reincarnate of Grandma!!

And I don't see anything wrong with that, because my Grandma was one of the strongest women I have ever had the honor of knowing.

Grandma lived a hard life, raised four kids, even a couple of grand kids now and again, and lived to the ripe old age of 89. She lived hard and she loved hard. She came from the generational pool that believed that men were superior and they were the be-all and end-all of everyday life. I remember how she used to dote over my Dad and brother. Never over us girls. That's just not how things were done. It used to really burn my ass (Oh, another one of her sayings) how differently she treated women from men. But now that I am older, I understand and accept it more freely. I know why she did the things she did and said the things she did and I don't hold it against her. I loved her very much, no matter if I questioned whether she loved me back (although I know now she always did...just had a "special" way of showing it).

I find myself thinking of her more and more as my own Mother ages. It makes me smile. I also remember that my Mom used to say how she was NEVER going to be like her mother. I also remember a time or two that I said the same thing about my mother. Funny thing is...we are all reflections of one another and it ain't half as bad as I thought. It makes me realize that when we emulate those who we loved in our life, it is a little like they aren't really gone...but they live on in our hearts and memories...come hell or high water!!

Wishing you all good humor and health!!


Me and My Grandma 1988

Milkshakes in QUANTITY = a QUALITY life...

Driving home from the doctor's office this afternoon, my mother and I decided to stop at the Jack in the Box for a burger. I know, I know...there are SO many better places to get a burger but it was on the way. As we make our selections in the drive thru, I tell my mom to get my dad a chocolate milkshake.

You see, my father LOVES chocolate milkshakes and the shakes at Jack in the Box are pretty good, considering they are made with real ice cream. (Don't get me started on what in the hell "fake" ice cream is!) Whenever we get burgers there, my dad generally asks for a shake. My mother generally says "NO!" The reason you ask?

Well if it were Mom answering, it would be because my father is a type II diabetic which he is managing with his diet and there is too much sugar in the milkshake and it will screw up his blood sugar. If I were answering the question, I would say that she is just a big wet rag sometimes and doesn't like to see my dad happy. (LOL...I am not serious about this...I say that to tease her!)

I finally convince her to get the poor guy his milkshake because I had a coupon in my wallet for a free shake with any purchase, and heaven forbid we pass up something free! Meanwhile, as we are waiting for our food to arrive at window number two, we begin rehashing what my doctor had said during my visit in her office. She explained the way in which food and the things we eat many times are directly correlated to the way we feel and disease, etc. She was suggesting that I go on an anti-inflammatory diet which would help to eliminate much of the inflammation I have in my body, simply by cutting out certain foods. She tells me to stay away from processed foods as it will make me feel better. (Does anyone see the irony as we are sitting in a fast food drive thru? Just sayin'!) She also says that I need to stay away from any foods that will cause inflammation in my body...and there are apparently a lot of them.

I immediately looked over to my mother, with her perked interest and smug grin, because ever since I got sick with RA, she has insisted that I go off of: dairy, sugar, white flour, corn...basically anything that tastes good, she wants me to stop eating. She has been on my ass for MONTHS about eliminating these foods to no avail and then today, my stupid doctor fuels her fodder!

Give me a break!

So we are in the car and discussing my doctor's much unwarranted advice and my mother asks me to explain what the doctor meant by her comment on living until you are one hundred. I explained that the doctor said it is better to be happy and live until you are eighty than to live miserably until you are one hundred; it's not the QUANTITY of life, but rather the QUALITY!

My mother then says, "So what's she's saying is that it is better to live a shorter life than to be miserable?"

"No," I say, "it means that if Dad wants a damn chocolate milkshake, then let the poor man have a chocolate milkshake!"

Somehow I don't think she liked my answer! But really, if you get right down to it, my doctor was right. It IS better to live a shorter and happier life than a long miserable one. Who wants to live unhappily until they are one hundred just so they can say they lived until they were one hundred?? No thank you!

If I had to choose, I would live my life to the fullest, each day as if it were my last, and above all, I would be happy! I hope that is what I am doing. I know I am a bit stuck right now in neutral but one day soon...I am going to go to that aerobics class with my friend, go out dancing at the local tavern, and purchase that plane ticket to Europe. I am going to live this life to the fullest and happiest. And if that includes a chocolate milkshake then so be it!!

Wishing you all good health and humor! Have a chocolate milkshake on me!!

Looking back, but going forward...

I read an interesting quote the other day and for some strange reason, cannot seem to let it slip from my consciousness.

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward." ~Soren Kierkegaard

Simple enough idea. Nothing really profound or earth shattering, right?

So then why can I not get this idea out of my head?

I have also been lamenting lately about my past and certain regrets I have. No, regrets is the wrong word. Maybe "disappointments" would be better suited. As I look back over the years in my life, all 33 of them, countless times I find myself saying, "If I could do it all over again..." or "If I had only known then, what I know now..." Then I get sad. Sad because I don't want to be one of those people who find themselves at the end of their life and realizing that they made the wrong choices or that they should have done things differently. I don't want to be someone with regrets.

Maybe the problem is that I am in transition right now with my life. Because of the problems I have been having with my hip and the recovery from the pinning, and that I am staying in my parent's guest room with all my belongings stored in a 12x12 storage facility, I feel like I am stuck in neutral and cannot get the car in drive. Everyone (my close friends and family) are so supportive and positive and tell me that it will soon be over and I can soon get my life back.

But what does that mean exactly, to get one's life back?

Just the act of looking back on my life before now, troubles me. I am always afraid I am going to see things that I didn't do right or choices that should have been made differently. I would maybe not be in the current situation that I am in right now...but then again....maybe I would be worse off...one never knows.

I guess that is the good and the bad of it. It's an age old idea of wanting to know what your life would be if you had done it differently in the past. Lord knows Hollywood has made billions on the idea. Many tell me to not dwell in the past. What's done is done; move on with your life.

So is it wrong then for me to be thinking about it? Is it normal? Should we look back to the road behind us or keep our eyes permanently forward to the horizon?

I don't know...maybe you do. All I know is that for the most part, I wouldn't change most decisions or experiences I have had in my life, because they have brought me the friends that I have, and the family members that I cherish, the laugh lines on my face...I wouldn't trade any of those for a simple "do-over."

Would you?

Wishing you all a healthy and happy day!!
P.S. Pretty tulips, huh? I shot that at Manito Park this summer. :)

Cha...Cha...Chain-jez!

In the spirit of VALENTINE'S DAY, which is obviously coming up shortly based on the fact that every store in town has a section that looks like a red heart threw up all over, I am changing the background of the blog to spruce things up a bit.

If it doensn't work for you...don't worry, St. Patty's Day is right around the corner...and I will be green with envy!!

Happy Valentine's Day!! Or as I like to refer to it...Happy "Singles Awareness" Day!!

A favor of my friends...

A dear friend of mine has a brother who is only 19 years old and is suffering from the most awful migraines known to man, and after years of endless doctors and tests, they cannot figure out why or how to stop them. He is in an immeasurable amount of pain so much so that he cannot even be touched by another human because it hurts too much. He has not been able to move out of his parent's home, get a job, or go to college, because he cannot even come out of his darkened bedroom most days. The simple smells of a home cooked meal coming from the kitchen induces violent vomiting. He has tried every pain medicine under the sun to no avail. I just found out that after several years on morphine and other narcotics, he now has to go to rehab to "detox" his body from all the medications because they don't know which ones are beneficial anymore. So this wonderful boy who is in excruciating pain, must now stop ALL medicines and start from scratch. AGAIN!!

Having Rheumatoid Arthritis is a disease where we are always in pain. But there are levels to our pain, and for many, it can be treated and managed with many medications. For my friend's brother, this is not an option and he must remain in pain.

Does this seem fair? Is this really what God has planned for him??

I mean sure, we all question our faith in God and his plan at hard times in our lives and we must have faith that there is a rhyme and a reason for most of the strife and struggle in the world. I have to believe that having RA, a disease with chronic pain which I will have for the remainder of my life, has happened for a reason. Perhaps it is taking me down a path to something wonderful. But sometimes, it is hard to NOT question God and simply ask "WHY??"

Why do some people have to suffer more than others?
Why are there no answers when we need them the most?
How can you allow a mother to watch her child suffer and leave her helpless?

What did he do to deserve such an awful hand? I just doesn't seem fair.

I guess that is where I am going with this post. I know that not everything in this world is "fair" but sometimes you gotta stop and say, "ENOUGH...give the poor kid a break!!"

I don't know. It just makes me sad. I know what pain is. I am sure I have never experienced anything like what he has endured over the last few years and I pray that I never do. Hopefully he will find himself pain free and healthy in the near future and this will all have seemed like a far away dream...at least I hope so.

So tonight when you go to sleep...if I could ask a personal favor, please just give a kind thought or prayer to your God or deity or whatever you believe in...just stop and send out some good vibes for my friend's brother and his family in hopes that his struggle will end soon. He has his whole life ahead of him and he deserves to live it.

Wishing you all good health and humor...

Catch up!

Hey ya'll! Sorry I haven't posted in a few months. Things here have been, to say the least, CRAZY!!

Quick run down since the last post:
1. Continued with the high protein diet and was getting quite good at it...but did you know that you have to eat a WHOLE LOTTA chocolate to get to your 100 grams per day! It was hard, but I gave it my all!
2. I ended up in the hospital around Thanksgiving. It began with ride from our friendly neighborhood ambulance and the male nurse hitting on my in the ER while I was high on morphine!
3. My infection came back and I was put back on antibiotics. I thought it was infected WAY before they (the overly intelligent doctors whom I am trusting my life with) decided to put me back on antibiotics. Found out that it was MRSA so NOW I am treated like a leper every time I come into contact with medical personnel. Oh, and I also got a groovy cellulitis infection on my skin that started on my incision and wrapped around the back of my thigh and crawled up my ass! It was awesome!
4. They removed my wound vac because of the infection! THERE IS A GOD!!! So my pain levels have been diminishing by the day.
5. I have been feeling MUCH better now that the holidays are done and over with. I was really down and depressed this holiday season. It is difficult to be up and happy when all you wanna do is crawl into bed and sleep. BUT, I made it and it was a successful and drama free Christmas! It was actually FABulous!!

So that is a VERY quick rundown and there have been LOTS of other things that happened during those last few months, but I don't feel like rehashing the details with you. And since this is MY blog, I guess I don't have to!!

But I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. I go to the plastic surgeon this week to find out about a possible "muscle flap" surgery that could potentially help my hole heal a little faster. Fingers crossed.

I hope to start posting regularly again, but we shall see. Take care and remember to laugh today!!

Wishing you all good health and humor!