This is NEVER going to end.
This is NEVER going to stop hurting.
This is NEVER going to get any better.
Once I finished my pity party and crying fit, I wiped the snot that was running down my nose and tried to catch my breath. I began thinking that:
Wait just a damned minute here...that is NOT going to be my reality.
THIS IS GOING TO END.
THIS IS GOING TO STOP HURTING.
THIS IS GOING TO GET BETTER...COME HELL OR HIGH WATER!!!
That was something my Grandmother used to say. I am not really sure what literal meaning is exactly, "come hell or high water" but I understand it's metaphorical meaning.
That was just like my Grandma, she always had great little sayings that I find myself, and especially my mother and father using on a daily basis.
Some of the better ones are when Grandma would watch television and people would kiss on TV, she used to roll her eyes in utter disgust and mumble, "There they go; eatin' each other up!" If my Grandmother only knew that the term today would have a MUCH different connotation, then perhaps she wouldn't have used it for merely kissing. But then again, I wouldn't want to be the one to explain what that meaning is. God. Could you imagine!! Just sayin'!
Another famous "Grandma-ism" is what she would say when she was thoroughly aggravated with someone. She would, again, mumble under her breath as if no one could hear her, "Them DIRTY sons of bitches!" (With a real slow and drawn out emphasis on "dirty") This by far is one of my favorites and now that I live with my parents and am around my mother much more, she uses this quite frequently, to my total amusement. Funny thing is, I think she is serious even though my Dad and I tease her about it to no end.
It is amazing to me how similar my Mom is to my Grandma. I mean, I am sure she wouldn't want to hear this, but every now and again, I will look over at her walking out in the back yard with her heavy flannel shirt used as a make-shift coat, traipsing through the yard, looking over her glasses and cussing out the dogs for some minor infraction they have committed. I giggle every time.
She is the walking reincarnate of Grandma!!
And I don't see anything wrong with that, because my Grandma was one of the strongest women I have ever had the honor of knowing.
Grandma lived a hard life, raised four kids, even a couple of grand kids now and again, and lived to the ripe old age of 89. She lived hard and she loved hard. She came from the generational pool that believed that men were superior and they were the be-all and end-all of everyday life. I remember how she used to dote over my Dad and brother. Never over us girls. That's just not how things were done. It used to really burn my ass (Oh, another one of her sayings) how differently she treated women from men. But now that I am older, I understand and accept it more freely. I know why she did the things she did and said the things she did and I don't hold it against her. I loved her very much, no matter if I questioned whether she loved me back (although I know now she always did...just had a "special" way of showing it).
I find myself thinking of her more and more as my own Mother ages. It makes me smile. I also remember that my Mom used to say how she was NEVER going to be like her mother. I also remember a time or two that I said the same thing about my mother. Funny thing is...we are all reflections of one another and it ain't half as bad as I thought. It makes me realize that when we emulate those who we loved in our life, it is a little like they aren't really gone...but they live on in our hearts and memories...come hell or high water!!
Wishing you all good humor and health!!
Me and My Grandma 1988
No comments:
Post a Comment