Looking back, but going forward...

I read an interesting quote the other day and for some strange reason, cannot seem to let it slip from my consciousness.

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward." ~Soren Kierkegaard

Simple enough idea. Nothing really profound or earth shattering, right?

So then why can I not get this idea out of my head?

I have also been lamenting lately about my past and certain regrets I have. No, regrets is the wrong word. Maybe "disappointments" would be better suited. As I look back over the years in my life, all 33 of them, countless times I find myself saying, "If I could do it all over again..." or "If I had only known then, what I know now..." Then I get sad. Sad because I don't want to be one of those people who find themselves at the end of their life and realizing that they made the wrong choices or that they should have done things differently. I don't want to be someone with regrets.

Maybe the problem is that I am in transition right now with my life. Because of the problems I have been having with my hip and the recovery from the pinning, and that I am staying in my parent's guest room with all my belongings stored in a 12x12 storage facility, I feel like I am stuck in neutral and cannot get the car in drive. Everyone (my close friends and family) are so supportive and positive and tell me that it will soon be over and I can soon get my life back.

But what does that mean exactly, to get one's life back?

Just the act of looking back on my life before now, troubles me. I am always afraid I am going to see things that I didn't do right or choices that should have been made differently. I would maybe not be in the current situation that I am in right now...but then again....maybe I would be worse off...one never knows.

I guess that is the good and the bad of it. It's an age old idea of wanting to know what your life would be if you had done it differently in the past. Lord knows Hollywood has made billions on the idea. Many tell me to not dwell in the past. What's done is done; move on with your life.

So is it wrong then for me to be thinking about it? Is it normal? Should we look back to the road behind us or keep our eyes permanently forward to the horizon?

I don't know...maybe you do. All I know is that for the most part, I wouldn't change most decisions or experiences I have had in my life, because they have brought me the friends that I have, and the family members that I cherish, the laugh lines on my face...I wouldn't trade any of those for a simple "do-over."

Would you?

Wishing you all a healthy and happy day!!
P.S. Pretty tulips, huh? I shot that at Manito Park this summer. :)