Hippity Hoppity...EASTERS ON IT'S WAY!!!!
Spring is in the air and the cabin fever has commenced.
Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if I could get outside more. Wait, I guess I got out today; I went to the clinic to have my blood drawn which, by the way, they took about a gallon and the girl was a student and I became her human pin cushion.
BUT...alas, that is not the point of this story.
Where was I...oh, yeah, cabin fever, springtime, bunnies and jelly beans.
I love this time of year. The lilac trees are starting to bud, the new spring grass is pushing its way up through the waterlogged brown grass of yesteryear. Yes, this time of year is all about fresh beginnings and jelly beans.
Say What??
Yes, Jelly Beans! I love 'em and they are in abundance this time of year. Why? Because of Easter, silly rabbit! I was not sure where the whole bunny, jelly beans, Easter egg phenomenon originated from and how exactly it correlates to the death and resurrection of Christ. So I did what any bored person would do with unlimited time and an Internet connection...I surfed until I found me some answers.
Here's what I came up with:
Did you know...that female rabbits can conceive a second litter of babies while they are already pregnant with the first litter? Now THAT alone would be a reason for one to not have sex while pregnant...women of the world rejoice!
Did you know...Catholics are not supposed to eat eggs during lent? I didn't know this and I was a Catholic for the majority of my life. WTF?? That is a very weird and I have to say strange rule. Apparently that is the reason why eggs were always in an abundance around the time of Easter...because all them good Catholics were abstaining. Well, at least from eggs that is. Please...catholics are like rabbits when it comes to....HEY!! Maybe THAT is the reason they use a rabbit for their symbol!!! Hahaha!! Kidding. Seriously, though catholics do breed like rabbits so I guess one could argue that it is appropriate. Just sayin'
Did you know...on Easter Monday women had a right to strike their husbands?Sa-WEET!! Now THIS is a tradition I can wrap my mind around. This is an old most likely pre-Christian tradition but STILL one that I say we resurrect from the dead...hahaha....get it? Resurrect?? Damn, I am witty...I crack myself up!
Did you know...in England, people cut down pussy willows and swat each other with them for good luck? I can tell you right now...if someone swatted me with a pussy willow switch, they would get more than good luck from me...they would get two black eyes!!
Did you know...Canada is the site of the largest Easter egg in the world? The Easter egg was constructed in 1975 to commemorate early Ukrainian settlements in an area east of Edmonton. It weighed 5,000 pounds, and was 25.7 feet long. Now THAT is a big chicken!!
Did you know...Most children (74%) eat the ears of their chocolate bunny first? 13% eat the feet first, and 10% eat the tails first. Okay, so riddle me this...who in the hell comes up with these statistics?? I mean seriously. And you thought I had a lot of time on my hands. 
And FINALLY, did you know....that many of the red, orange, pink, and purple candy that we stuff our pouty lips with during this festive Easter time are made from dried up dead bugs? Say-what? Yep, that's right ladies and gents, as you scarf down those colorful jelly beans that we all know and love so well, you are eating the ground up carcases of dead beetles. The red food coloring, cochineal and carmine, are made from a beetle native to Central and South America called the cochineal and its innards are red when squished. So you take a boatload of these dead beetles, dry them, crush 'em, and then put 'em in your food. YUM...brings all new meaning to the word "BEETLE JUICE"!!!
So I just want to say to you all....as we see all the stores catering to all the goodies of Easter-time, go out and buy some jelly beans, dye, hide, and eat some Easter eggs, and overall, spend time with those who you love. It's a wonderful time...a time of new beginnings, a time of new birth. Enjoy it and make sure to eat the red jelly beans! YUM!!
Wishing you all good health, humor, and holidays!
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