I'm much too young to feel this damn old!

So home from the infamous 15 year reunion for my high school graduating class of 1995. It was a small but fierce gathering of my fellow classmates. Seeing people from your past always reminds you of times gone by. Times that were simpler and filled with optimistic longings and youth. Well, seeing my classmates after this weekend, I see that those days are LONG behind us!

Lord we are gettin' OLD!!

It was actually kinda funny how many of the conversations were focused around our current lives and being in our thirties. Many of us realize that we are, to put it in the simplest terms, getting old!

I must have heard from over half how they have to be in bed before 10 pm and can't eat anything after a eight. Many of them are talking about the new house they bought and all the remodeling projects they are doing. They talked about their kids and the funny things they say and do. All of this made for great conversation, but it is so opposite of what we used to bond over so many years ago.

We used to be connected by simple things like music, food, beer, history class, and boys/girls. Our lives revolved around things that at the time, mattered so much, but in retrospect, mattered none. I guess that is all apart of aging. I just never realized that it would be happening now.

We are only in our early 30's! It seems unfair. So many of us were like kids again last weekend: drinking way more than we should have, staying up until the sun rose from the mountains, and doing inappropriate things. It made me wonder just how many of us are finally recovered from the weekend. It is Tuesday and I still feel like crap. I need a nap. I need to go back and NOT drink that last drink. I want to go back and NOT have stayed up talking with all of my classmates until 7:30 in the morning. But most of all, I want to go back and NOT have seen one of my classmate's ass three times, like I did that night. I won't explain further, but lets just say that I will never again be able to eat a croissant again without thinking of his ass!!

I guess you could say that time gets away from us and we all age. But I still feel like a kid inside my head, especially when I see my old friends from my childhood. The sad sorry truth of the matter is that unfortunately my body thinks otherwise. It isn't fair really. I have a constant battle now between my brain and my body. I guess I know who won.

It is basically the same with my RA. I struggle with the mental fact that I am young and vibrant, but then I try and swing my legs off the bed and am so stiff that I can't move without great effort or even a pain pill. It is a constant battle. I wish that our brains and bodies aged at the same pace...so then we wouldn't all feel so conflicted all the time. I have to admit though, it was nice to see that many of my fellow classmates can understand for an instant a little bit of how it feels like to have RA. You just don't want to admit your limitations, and you just can't get past the treasonous rebellion that your body wages against you everyday. This is what RA feels like. It isn't all there is to it, but it gives a glimpse of my daily battle.

Basically, we are all waging war against time. Time we can never get back. Time we should cherish. It's not about feeling old...it's about remembering that we are still young, but maybe with just a few more limitations than before.

But as Garth Brooks said, "Lord, I'm much too young to feel this damn old!" Ain't that the truth Garth, Ain't that the truth!!

God bless and hope all you kids at heart out there remember to always try and win the battle!