Reunions. The word itself implies absence, longing, and separation. None of those things are very positive, right? Well then, why should I be positive about going to my 15 year class reunion this weekend? That's the thing...I'm not.
I don't know why either. I was happy in high school. Well, as happy as any teenager could be, I suppose. But what I really mean is that I can honestly say that I enjoyed my four years of high school. I was a good student academically, I had many friends from all varieties and cliques, and I was active in student activities, both academically and socially.
Feeling rather nostalgic, looking back I remember people coming to my locker on Friday's asking me where the party was going to be. Yes, I was a "partier." I drank most of the football team under the table and I was damn proud of it at the time. I know that is nothing to put on a resume, but I am not going to lie about my past and pretend that I was not who I was. I was never in to drugs, just alcohol. Sweet, liquid gold of Miller Genuine Draft was my poison. Whenever there was a beer run there was always a separate order for me and my MGD.
That wasn't my only quirk either. I was known for several things back during my high school party days. I could most likely be found in a bathtub, fully clothed with no water, sleeping or passed out. On several occasions, I was the designated "Mom" of the group meaning that I was the one who would take care of the dumbasses who couldn't hold their alcohol or their hair back when vomiting. I was the one who taught most of my friends drinking games like 3Man, Drunk Driver, President's and Assholes, and Thunder (to name a few)! I was generally the one who helped plan the party and I was generally the one who cleaned up afterwards too. It was just apart of who I was.
Today, I guess you could say I am not THAT much different. Well, my nights of sleeping off a drunk in a random bathtub has changed and I don't play drinking games anymore. But I do still love to plan parties and am pretty responsible when it comes to making sure people are safe and having a good time. Since the RA diagnosis I don't drink as much anymore. Actually, i couldn't drink at all for two years because of the Methotrexate injection that I took every Sunday. That was difficult to get used to, but alas, I was able to permanently plant my ass on the wagon.
I think looking back at high school that it was the springboard to who I have become as an adult. I actually have remained close friends with several of my classmates, which is no small feat. Think about it...how many of your high school friends are you still in contact with? Not many, I am sure. I know that I am an anomaly when it comes to this but I work really hard to keep these friendships. I have known most of these people since I was five years old. It takes a lot to continue the relationship, but it is important to me. They are important to me. Especially since I got sick.
My friends from my past have been there for me unconditionally. Sure there are some of the relationships straining (which I don't blame them in the least...dealing with RA is not fun or easy) but overall, my friends are the best friends and confidants that anyone could ever hope for.
So I find myself a little irritated as I write this, as I am having a bit of a flare right now and trying my damnedest to feel better enough to make the trip this weekend. Its not like I haven't seen all the people who I most want to see, because I go home to Montana whenever I can to visit, but getting all the "old" clan back together all under one roof with others from my past, is something that shouldn't be missed.
I say that, and really do believe that. So then why am I dreading going to this reunion?
Simple. I hurt. I am dealing with the RA on a 24/7 basis, and I would love to just go back in time. Back to when things were more simple. Back when all I had to worry about was who was going to buy my MGD and which drinking game I was going to kick ass on that night. Wouldn't that be nice. If only.
So instead, I get my self mentally and hopefully physically prepared for the weekend. Lets just hope that I can make it there...back to the past...and away from my future!! So here's to you Class of 1995!
Wishing you all good humor and health!
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